What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is the dirtiest thing you have witnessed your wife do?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Can someone write me a sex story?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why are conservatives banning liberal books? Why are conservatives so offended by the teaching of racism and other topics?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How long does it typically take for prices to return to normal after tariffs are removed?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What do bad boys know that nice guys don't?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Microsoft confirms auth issues affecting Microsoft 365 users - BleepingComputer

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable that my friend thinks my brother is hot?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is there a reason why many men give up on dating and relationships? Is the dating scene difficult for them?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Do many women shave their vaginas?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

My stepmother has banned me from the family. Can she legally keep me from going to my father's funeral?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I’m British and I'm hella bummed about it. Wish I was American or even Canadian, ’cause let’s be real, Canada’s gonna end up part of the States anyway. What should I do?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority